How to stop comparing your finances – and start thriving

Does your friend's dreamy vacation or your sister's new home stir feelings of jealousy or frustration with how much money you have? Comparing your finances – and coming up short – is completely normal. But left unchecked, money envy can lead to poor decisions, strained relationships, and increased stress.

Social media deserves a huge share of the blame here. We're bombarded with endless highlight reels of people’s lives, but we're not seeing the full picture. Your friend might have posted about his new car but did he mention the hefty loan payments that came with it?

Constant comparison, particularly on social media, can lead to a fear of missing out because of your financial situation – or "financial FOMO." But everyone’s financial situation is different, shaped by income, debt, goals, privilege, and even luck.

You don’t have to live in an endless loop of comparison and dissatisfaction. Here are some practical steps to curb your money envy and start focusing on what really matters.

1. Limit your social media exposure

If scrolling through social media fills you with envy, FOMO, or feelings of inadequacy, take a step back. Remember, posts are just a tiny slice of someone’s life – not the whole story. People rarely share their struggles, debts, or trade-offs they’ve made for what they have.

It may be time to set some boundaries, including limiting your time on social media or unfollowing people and accounts that trigger financial FOMO. Take a social media detox for a few days or weeks to reset and reduce exposure to content that can trigger spending or comparison. 

You might also try a social media no-buy period, where you avoid purchases from social ads and influencers. Unlinking your payment information from social platforms will help you think twice about a purchase. Remember, just because someone on Tik-Tok tells you your jeans are so last year or that a new face cream will change your life, doesn't make it so.

2. Stop overspending to keep up

One of the most damaging things you can do is overspend just to keep up with other people. From designer clothes you don’t need to a vacation you can’t afford, those types of purchases often lead to regret. Instead of trying to match someone else’s lifestyle, focus on your own financial goals. Are you buying something because you truly want and need it – or to impress someone?

Trying to keep up financially can lead to lifestyle inflation – spending more as your income increases, just to match what you think others are doing. This doesn’t just hurt your wallet. It can keep you in a pattern of living paycheck to paycheck.

Instead, use a bump in income to meet big-picture goals that inspire you, whether it’s saving for a vacation, paying off a credit card, or starting a retirement fund. Celebrate your milestones, no matter how big or small, because they’re a reflection of your goals and hard work.

3. Focus on what you can control

Shift your energy from worrying about other people’s finances to what you can control about your own money. Create a budget that works for you and learn all that you can about personal finance, including investing, saving for retirement, or paying off debt. Look for ways to boost your income, from side hustles to applying for new jobs or going back to school.

Take some time to strengthen your relationships with family and friends with activities and conversations that don't revolve around money. Or consider volunteering for a cause that’s meaningful to you. Helping others and making strong connections can shift your focus away from material things.

Stick to your financial plan and take pride in your progress. A strong financial foundation will give you peace of mind and set you up for success in the long run.

4. Practice gratitude

One of the most powerful tools to combat money envy is gratitude. Take a moment to appreciate how far you’ve come. Maybe you’ve paid off some debt, landed a new job, or learned how to stick to a budget. These accomplishments are valuable, even if they’re not Instagram-worthy.

Remember, success isn’t just about money. It’s also about experiences, relationships, and personal growth. Keep a gratitude journal to regularly remind yourself of all the things you’re thankful for. This simple practice can help shift your focus from what you don’t have to what you do have.

5. Re-evaluate your relationships

When it comes to curbing money envy, the people you surround yourself with can make all the difference. Are some of your relationships contributing to feelings of inadequacy or jealousy?

Not every relationship is healthy. If you’re spending time with people who flaunt their success or make you feel less-than, it might be time to set some boundaries. Think of it as hitting the "unfollow" button on social media. Protecting your energy and stepping away from unkind or competitive influences can do wonders for your well-being.

Surround yourself with people who value you for who you are – not what you own or how much you earn. Look for people who cheer for you and remind you of your worth beyond your bank account. Reconnect with people who make you laugh or inspire you to be your best self. Instead of measuring your financial success against others, celebrate the friendships and bonds that truly enrich your life.

Your own journey

Breaking free from the cycle of financial comparisons doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s worth the effort. When you stop comparing your finances to others, you’ll find more peace and satisfaction in your own life.

Everyone’s path is different. The key to financial well-being is staying focused on what matters most to you – and not someone else’s bank account.